“Life is what happens when you’re making other plans” - John Lennon

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“Strengthen ye the weak hands, and confirm the feeble knees. Say to them that are of a fearful heart, Be strong, fear not…”
Isaiah 35:3-4

Last Wednesday I was lost in the West Bank with my wife and two friends. We left the area without incident. Honestly, I didn’t even know we were IN the West Bank till afterwards. All I knew was that we had not reached our destination (Tiberias) and all the billboards and store signs were written in Arabic. Not a big deal, after all- over half a billion people speak it as a first or second language (thank you, Wikipedia).

But when we finally got back on track and reached a security check point run by a dozen Israeli soldiers, my companions were all relieved… quite literally, since we had to pull to the side of the road so we could all go #1 in some shrubbery.
Anyway, after returning to the highway, we had about twenty minutes of giddy relief, which we filled by playing a rousing alphabet game.

Some of the highlights of “I’m going to the West Bank and I’m gonna bring...” :

A my Ass handed to me (a constant fear of what fate had in store)
E Elderly Toyota Driver (we followed his rusted pick-up, which appeared to be from 1986, out of a small Arab village, finally bidding him farewell with the Arabic version of “Thanks”— “Shook-rahn,” and the classic “Salaam Aleikhem.”)

F Fear, blinding fear
G Guts
J Jews, on the D.L.
L Lost and Helpless look on my face
N No clue
P Pissing behind a tree
Q Quotes from “Indiana Jones” (esp. from “The Last Crusade,” spoken by Sean Connery—“We are pilgrims in an unholy land.”)
R Regrets… so many regrets
S Stories to tell
U Uncomfortable conversations with Arab men
V Voices in my head, telling me “Go back!”
W Westward the wagons… to safety
X Xenophobia

The West Bank is a huge chunk of land. Not like the Gaza Strip. But the people we met didn’t look any different than Israelis.
And the experience brought me and my wife and our friends closer than any trek up Massada or trip to the Western Wall ever could.
Not that I would recommend it.
But remember—
Nothing in life goes “according to plan.”

Always bring an extra pair of underwear... just in case there's no shrubbery.
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