Monday, March 29

Passover! Jews & Gentiles

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"And the Jews’ passover was at hand, and Jesus went up to Jerusalem"
-- John 2:13

What is the meaning of Passover?

Here is an exchange between a Christian and a Jewish boy, comparing their respective Spring holidays:

"We go to church... maybe."
"We go to synagogue... maybe."
"Cool. I have to wear a tie and shiny shoes."
"Me too."
"Really? We have my relatives over.
"Me too!"
"Cool! And of course, there's the bunny!"
"Me t—… Say what?"

"The Easter Bunny. The Giant Rabbit that symbolizes Easter… along with pastel eggs"
"Riiiiight."
"You don't have any animals for Passover?"
“Um… we have frogs!”
“Cool! And do they sing and play the banjo?”
“That’s ridiculous!”
“Well, are they cute frogs?”
“They WOULD be… if they weren’t preceded by a river of blood and followed by 8 more plagues.”
“Any other Passover animals?”
"Well… we have a song about one little goat."
"Great! And is he a happy, healthy goat?"
"At first… but then he gets eaten by a cat”
“When does that happen in the song?”
“The second verse.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah, but that's okay, because the cat that ate the goat gets bitten by a dog, and they hit the dog with a stick, and later there's a cow who is killed and a butcher who is killed and the Angel of Death… it's a song for children! Yeesh!"

"Well… my mom makes glazed ham, candied yams, delicious!”
“We eat matzah… which is like cardboard that makes you irregular.”

“We eat chocolate eggs, chocolate rabbits, chocolate candy of all kinds!”
“We eat… chocolate-covered… matzah! Jesus.”

“I’ll trade you my chocolate eggs for your matzah.”

“Really??? Sure… Wow, what a schmuck. Jesus!”

“Where?”

(The mystery isn't who hid the Afikoman or why the Christian God has a Hispanic name, it's the fact that Gentiles love matzah— go figure!)


Happy Passover!
May none of your four questions include- "Whose bra is this?"
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I Know You Want to Cleave Me...

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“For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife”
-- Mark 10:7 (based on Genesis 2:24)


How unique is my wife?

When I came home this afternoon, I started checking my e-mail on my wife’s computer.
Here is what I found:
In the DVD player:
“Star Trek, Next Generation, Season 6”

Google word search?

“Fluffy matzah balls”

Youtube video search?

“How to cut your man’s hair”

Moral:
My wife had two things in her hands today—
Scissors and balls.

ahem.


She boldly goes where no one has gone before

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