It could always be worse

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We're gonna start with bodily functions, end up at mortality. Hang on.


“Then thou shalt say unto thy son, We were Pharaoh’s bondmen in Egypt; and the LORD brought us out of Egypt with a mighty hand.”
-- Deuteronomy 6:21

“My poop is brown. I know, most people’s poop is brown. But I mean… mine is REALLY brown.”
-- ?
First of all, I can’t tell WHO said this last quote, because this person would kill me.

But my initial question: how does this anonymous person know the color of MOST people’s poop? Sure, we can speculate and assume… what, does s/he do when no one is watching? Whom does s/he watch defecate? And why isn’t it me?

Thank you, Passover! For making a certain gentleman/lady’s fecal matter darker than Satan’s soul!


Why? Why, for 7/8 days each year, do Jews put themselves in constipatorial jeopardy (Take that, Trebek! Answer in the form of a BM)?
(or… worse John Grisham novel ever)

Why?

And in an inordinate percentage!

Strictly observant Jews do not work, go to school or carry out any business on the first and last day(s) of Passover … however, only about 10% of the American Jewish population observes this rule strictly. (jewfaq.com)

According to an article by Shmuel Rosner found on slate.com from April 17, 2008, 65% of intermarried Jews and 90% of in-married Jews attend a Passover seder.

Damn!
That’s a lot!

Why? What’s your take on it—why do so many Jews go to a Passover seder each year?


Why?
What is it about a seder that encourages Jews to be Jews?

Well, for one thing—it’s dinner. Who refuses dinner?

Secondly, it’s interactive! There’s singing, choreography, it’s a big production… and Jews love Broadway!
Musicals!
Fabulous!

Also, it reminds people that it could always be worse. So what if your life sucks—at least you’re not a slave… like you used to be.

And that’s yet another reason African-Americans and Jewish-Americans should be BFF.
(The first reason… naturally, both our people are exceptional rappers, basketball players and kugel-makers).

AND another reason many Jews marched for Civil Rights in the South in the 1960s… most notably Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel with Dr. Martin Luther King in Alabama.
(http://www.flickr.com/photos/eliyahu5733/87450235/)

My father just informed me of the following hilarious/harrowing ordeal:
The 17 year old Lincoln Continental he inherited from my grandpa is… no more.
Now—like a Mastercard commercial:
It passed inspection that this past Friday: $157
The new owner's card was ordered on Saturday: $36.50
and an hour before he drove it, he had filled the tank: $45 worth of gas
Watching (from a safe distance) as it catches on fire and burns to a crisp in the parking lot of a …(wait for it) cemetery! … priceless.

For everything else… there’s Irony.

Yes, my parents went to a funeral yesterday.
That’s not funny.
But the fact that their 20 year old car, in which they had just invested $240, burst into flames at the funeral… that’s funny.

But to quote my dad, “It just doesn't matter. If it was going to blow up anyway, thank God it did where and when it did. It could have been so much worse; on a road, in a parking garage, near a house or kids. Baruch HaShem [Thank God]”

Amen, Pop.
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