Another Theory of Relativity

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“…went out through the land of Egypt: Where I heard a language that I understood not”

-- Psalms 81:5

I just returned from an 11-day excursion to Italy and Greece.

What did I learn?
1st : Italian public transportation is great.
2nd : Greek public transportation stinks.
3rd : The Greek word for “vegetarian” sounds like a homophobic slur (pronounced “hort-oh-fag-uss”).

And Finally, it is true that being in a REALLY foreign country makes you appreciate a slightly LESS foreign country.
Example: I speak Hebrew poorly. But I speak Greek and Italian even more poorly!
So while I was in Rome and Athens I really missed being in Israel!

At least in the latter I can order a cup of coffee and then be ignored by my waiter… in a language I sorta understand.

Which brings me to my thesis:

EVERYTHING is relative.

This past baseball season, 2009, the Philadelphia Phillies centerfielder Shane Victorino hit 10 homeruns!
Yay!

That ranked him 181st in baseball.

Ahem.

But it WOULD have been first in the league
… in 1909.

The film “The Ten Commandments” grossed $65.5 million dollars in America.

Not very impressive by today’s standards (the ridiculous “Twilight: New Moon” bested that total in just its first 24 hours in the U.S. this past November).
However, “The Ten Commandments” was released in 1956.

Adjusted for inflation (thanks to the folks at boxofficemojo.com) that would be just short of $1 billion today
(more than any film except Gone with the Wind, Star Wars, The Sound of Music and E.T.).

My point?

Don’t take ANYTHING at face value.

EVERYTHING is relative.

Am I the most attractive guy?
… in the world?
Heck no!
… in my apartment?
Hellz yeah!

The Bible says we should

When the Bible was written, was there electricity, in-door plumbing or , oh I don’t know, aspirin?
Nope.
Was there universally accepted bigamy, slavery, and little-to-no underwear?
Yup.

It’s all relative.

“He that smiteth a man, so that he die, shall be surely put to death.”
--Exodus 21:12

Okay, capital punishment. Not totally foreign to us.

“For every one that curseth his father or his mother shall be surely put to death…”
-- Leviticus 20:9

What??

“If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death”
-- Leviticus 20:13


People used to think leeches were better than surgery, the mandrake root could get you preggers, and gay people were evil.

Things change.

And, hopefully, so do people.

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