Meat, Thanksgiving and Animal Sex!

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Happy Thankgiving!

Or, as Israelis call it... Thursday.


Or Yom Chamishi.

Let's talk a little bit about Turkey... or meat!

How about the first food ever mentioned in the Bible.

Now, in an earlier entry (Nov. 7th, "Yes, I'm Gonna Marry a Carrot") I mentioned that Adam and Eve were vegetarians while in the Garden of Eden.
But did you know that even AFTER the Expulsion they were STILL tofu-munchers?!


After the tree/apple/snake debacle, God tells Adam:

"Cursed is the ground for thy sake, in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life... Thou shalt eat the herb of the field; in the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread..." (Gen. 3:17-19)

So, only bread and veggies. Both before and after the Garden of Eden.


And remember Gen. 1:29---

"God said, 'Behold, I have given you every herb yielding seed, which is on the surface of all the earth, and every tree, which bears fruit yielding seed. to you it shall be for meat."


But did you know that in the very next verse, God also told ANIMALS to be vegetarian!

"And to every beast of the earth, and to every fowl of the air and to everything that creeps upon the earth, wherein there is life, I have given every green herb for meat, and it was so."

Notice the part "wherein there is life."
It's poetic, kind of saying, "If a creature has life inside it, it should not eat something else with life inside it."
(i.e., treat your neighbor animals as yourself)

That's just how I interpret it.
You may see it differently.
After all, there's more than one way to skin (and then eat) a cat.

Interesting point-- the King James Version says "to you it shall be for MEAT", while most other versions of the Bible say "FOOD." Essentially, I think the writers of the KJV were sayin, "You know the way YOU think of meat? Well, THAT'S how the first creatures of the earth thought of vegetables and plants."




But now it seems ridiculous that God would require animals to only eat vegetables.


I know, I know-- a snake just tricked two people into eating a magic apple... but THIS is hard to believe???

I take umbrage with THIS part of the Bible?!


(Umbrage! SAT word!)

This is what I call a T.M.B.S. moment.

That stands for "This Movie is Bull Shit!"
At some point, while watching a movie, someone will say, "Oh, come ON! That's unbelievable!"
Example:
In the beginning of the film "Men In Black," an alien climbs up the side of the Guggenheim Museum in Manhattan. Will Smith, who is chasing the alien, shoots the glass out of the front door and goes in.
Watching it, a friend of mine scoffed, "Come on! Where's the alarm?!"
True, if you broke the glass to a museum's entrance, an alarm would most likely sound... making it difficult to stop the ALIENS!!!!
(eye roll)


So God told the animals NOT to eat each other.

Well, what about this:

On the 5th day, after the Almighty created sea creatures and birds, God said, "Be fruitful and multiply, fill the waters in the seas and let fowl multiply on the earth" (1:22).

That's right... God had to TELL animals to have sex!

God told birds to screw and God told whales to hump.

(pun!)


Why not?

In the beginning, there were vegetarian, sexually-reserved animals... just like today!



Kind of... your dog eats its own shit and humps your leg.

Sounds like a good date to me.