Jewman Trafficking

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“Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently… fret not… Cease from anger, and forsake wrath: fret not thyself in any wise to do evil. For evildoers shall be cut off: but those that wait upon the LORD, they shall inherit the earth.”
-- Psalms 37:7-9

What is the worst thing about Israel?

Time’s up.

Answer:

Traffic.

I was reading last year’s Frommer’s guide, which says:

“Terrorism has become a problem everywhere in the world…. Despite the news of the past few years, the chance is actually greater that you’ll be involved in a traffic mishap while in Israel.”
--- (Robert Ullian, p.73)

Hooray!

Yahoo for school!

Yeah, that’s a relief for all you tourists, but that doesn’t bode well for me!
And trust me, I must bode well (if I bode at all, and with my sciatica, I don’t bode too frequently… is this horse dead yet?).

Jerusalem is like Time’s Square combined with Boston rush hour and y’know those crazy cab drivers in Manhattan? Well, that’s how ALL Israelis drive!

Generalization? Sure. But close to the truth.

Running through the streets of Jerusalem, I am privy to some of the most terrifying traffic known to man. Everyone feels entitled: the buses, the taxis, the pedestrians—you can see a 2 ton bus filled with 30 people brought to a stand-still when a 23-year old Orthodox mom, pushing a stroller with twins and carrying 15 pounds of rugelach, bumps into a friend and decides to catch up on old times… in the middle of the street.

You know how docile most Jews are? Well, not here! In Israel the Jews all have guns by the time they’re 18.

So most Jews opt to walk in Jerusalem.
And why not?
That's how we got here in the first place.


"Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil..."
-- Psalm 23:4

(or was it Coolio?)
(or maybe Weird Al)