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“And in every province, and in every city, whithersoever the king’s commandment and his decree came, the Jews had joy and gladness, a feast and a good day. And many of the people of the land became Jews; for the fear of the Jews fell upon them. ”
--Esther 8:18
Celebrating Purim in Jerusalem is a unique experience.
For those of you in the USA, let me try to capture the energy:
Imagine Halloween combined with New Year’s Eve and your local sports team winning the championship— inebriated, costumed individuals waving noisemakers and wandering the streets, shouting and cheering all night long.
(i.e., Par-taaaay!)
What is the story of Purim, briefly?
Queen Esther and her uncle Mordechai thwarted the murderous plot of the king’s advisor Haman, preventing him from murdering all the Jews of Persia!
They saved the proverbial day and everything worked out… for the Jews.
Not so much for Haman (he was hanged… and hanged well).
In fact, the traditional Purim cookie is called “the ear of Haman”—it’s a triangle of dough with fruit in the middle.
(Ahem)
It makes as much sense as remembering the birth of Jesus with a fruitcake.
But in Jerusalem Purim is a happy, whiskey-soaked celebration!
In fact, at the end of the story, not only were all the Jews safe to live in Persia and its provinces, but other people converted to Judaism because they FEARED the Jews! As well they should have, since the Jews actually killed over 75,000 of their enemies (9:5,6 &16).
Yikes!
It was like the Inquisition … but the exact opposite.
So… how did I celebrate Purim?
I listened to rabbinical students read the scroll (megillah) of Esther in a tavern called “Yankees Pub”, I booed whenever Haman’s name was mentioned (as is the Jewish custom), I ate pizza and drank too much ouzo (as is my custom) and then I partied at a gay bar, where my wife (dressed as Bunnicula, the vampire bunny of children’s literature) danced with a Carmen Miranda-impersonator who had more chest hair than Chewbacca.
Good times!
Masks, booze, dancing and cookies!
Purim— when everyone is (at least) a little gay!
“…the Jews had joy and gladness, a feast and a good day.”
--Esther 8:17
“When you're with the Flintstones
you'll have a yabba dabba doo time.
A dabba doo time.
You'll have a gay old time.”
-- Hanna-Barbera’s Flintstones theme song
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Monday, March 1
Purim-- We’re Number One!
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“Thus the Jews smote all their enemies with the stroke of the sword, and slaughter, and destruction, and did what they would unto those that hated them.”
-- Esther 9:5
Purim – the Jewish holiday that celebrates everything actually working out for the Jews… for a change.
Finally, a happy story!
... sort of.
A Jewish girl assimilates, marries a non-Jewish king, and the Jews murder thousands of people.
…hooray?
“But the other Jews that were in the king’s provinces gathered themselves together, and stood for their lives, and had rest from their enemies, and slew of their foes seventy and five thousand, but they laid not their hands on the prey.”
-- Esther 9:16
Geez!
It’s kinda rough. Sure, Queen Esther reveals her true religion to her hubby King, and has the king hang Haman, the wicked advisor who planned to murder all the Jews!
… but they also hang Haman’s ten sons (9:10) and thousands of other people.
Kinda grisly.
And the day is repeatedly referred to as one of “joy and gladness, a feast and a good day” (8:17, 9:17, 9:19).
Winners write the history books, I suppose.
Every nation needs some heroes, needs to feel like their people weren’t always getting their butts kicked.
Not everyone is a Yankees fan, some of us need someone else to cheer for.
Esther or Derek Jeter, it’s about pride.
And for once, the Jews won out!
That’s what Purim is all about.
It’s about the Jews kicking some ass!
BEN
You know what movie I just saw again
the other day? “Munich.”
JONAH
Dude, “Munich” … rules.
BEN
That movie was Eric Bana kicking
f**kin’ ass! Dude, every movie with Jews, we’re the
ones getting killed. “Munich” flips it
on its ear. We’re cappin’ motherf**kers.
JONAH
Not only killing, but… takin’ names.
BEN
If any of us get laid tonight, it’s
because of Eric Bana in “Munich.”
-- Screenplay of “Knocked Up”, p.13, by Judd Apatow (a Jew, just so you know)
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“Thus the Jews smote all their enemies with the stroke of the sword, and slaughter, and destruction, and did what they would unto those that hated them.”
-- Esther 9:5
Purim – the Jewish holiday that celebrates everything actually working out for the Jews… for a change.
Finally, a happy story!
... sort of.
A Jewish girl assimilates, marries a non-Jewish king, and the Jews murder thousands of people.
…hooray?
“But the other Jews that were in the king’s provinces gathered themselves together, and stood for their lives, and had rest from their enemies, and slew of their foes seventy and five thousand, but they laid not their hands on the prey.”
-- Esther 9:16
Geez!
It’s kinda rough. Sure, Queen Esther reveals her true religion to her hubby King, and has the king hang Haman, the wicked advisor who planned to murder all the Jews!
… but they also hang Haman’s ten sons (9:10) and thousands of other people.
Kinda grisly.
And the day is repeatedly referred to as one of “joy and gladness, a feast and a good day” (8:17, 9:17, 9:19).
Winners write the history books, I suppose.
Every nation needs some heroes, needs to feel like their people weren’t always getting their butts kicked.
Not everyone is a Yankees fan, some of us need someone else to cheer for.
Esther or Derek Jeter, it’s about pride.
And for once, the Jews won out!
That’s what Purim is all about.
It’s about the Jews kicking some ass!
BEN
You know what movie I just saw again
the other day? “Munich.”
JONAH
Dude, “Munich” … rules.
BEN
That movie was Eric Bana kicking
f**kin’ ass! Dude, every movie with Jews, we’re the
ones getting killed. “Munich” flips it
on its ear. We’re cappin’ motherf**kers.
JONAH
Not only killing, but… takin’ names.
BEN
If any of us get laid tonight, it’s
because of Eric Bana in “Munich.”
-- Screenplay of “Knocked Up”, p.13, by Judd Apatow (a Jew, just so you know)
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