Two Twins and a Lie

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“And the LORD had respect unto Abel and to his offering. But unto Cain and to his offering he had not respect. And Cain was very wroth…;” (Genesis 4:4-5).


“And the LORD said unto Cain, Where is Abel thy brother? And he said, I know not: Am I my brother’s keeper?”
(Genesis 4:9)


Okay, time for some brutal honesty:

When I was 5 years old I … repeated kindergarten.
But I was not alone—my twin brother also repeated kindergarten.

(sigh)

Oh, sweet Lord forgive me!
That paste was so tasty I had to eat it for another year!

(ahem)

Naturally, after that I developed soul-crushing self-doubts about my intelligence, which is toetully ridikooluss.

(Me likey skissors)

No no. Actually, these doubts were all in my head and completely unfounded.
I was always among the top 30 in my class (And the lady in the trailer on cinder blocks said I read super good, long time).

All that being said— when I turned 13, something changed.
I had my Bar-Mitzvah ceremony, a Jewish rite of passage. So that Friday, the day before my big BM (what?), my father took me aside and quietly said, “Aaron, you’re old enough now to know the truth. When you and your brother finished your first year of kindergarten, the teachers told us that one of you could possibly move on to 1st grade, but the other kid definitely needed to repeat kindergarten… Aaron, YOU were the kid who could’ve moved on to 1st grade.”
I couldn’t believe it.
My father continued, “But we felt it would’ve damaged the relationship between you and your brother, being identical twins and all. And we were told it was better for you to stay behind at the age of 5, rather than struggle to catch up for the rest of elementary school.”
I was shocked.
“But don’t tell your brother, it’ll just make him upset. You can be the bigger man, can’t you, Aaron?”
I assured my father that I could be the bigger man.
And I was.
… for a few hours.
Then my brother and I started arguing over which songs the DJ would play at our Bar Mitzvah party/record hop/ice cream buffet, which would occur the next evening.
My Brother: “That song from ‘Grease’ sucks!”
Me: “Y’know what—YOU suck!”
Brother: “Oh, brilliant comeback.”
Me: “Ha! What do YOU know about brilliant—YOU were the reason we repeated kindergarten!”
My brother looked confused. I felt bad, but I also really wanted the DJ to play ‘Summer Lovin’”—so I continued.
“Yeah, Dad told me that I could’ve gone to 1st grade, but you HAD to be held back, so they held BOTH of us back.”
Then there was a pause, my brother’s eyes got wide and suddenly he shouted, “Dad told ME that YOU had to be held back and that I was the one who could’ve gone to 1st grade!”

What????

Son of a bee sting!

The old man had done it again.

To this day we don’t know which one of us HAD to be held back for that second year of kindergarten… maybe both… maybe neither.

But we do know one thing—
our father
… is a liar.
And blood is thicker than paste.

“For I say,… to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think. …”

-- Romans 12:3
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