"I Need a Hero!"

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DAVID was the Bible’s first action hero.

Okay okay, not exactly.
Before David there were some cool Biblical heroes:

Samson— super strong, killed thousands of Philistines
Moses— killed a taskmaster, had a magic wand, etc.
Joshua— helpful spy (Numbers 13), then led troops in conquest of Canaan at the Battle of Jericho

Noah— he … had a boat
(… like Captain Stubing... or Forrest Gump!)

But David was the whole package—he could play beautiful music, kill the warrior Goliath, rule as Israel’s greatest king…

But let's face it-- if you're an action star, you gotta say some really cool stuff!

"Let me people go!"
-- Moses (Ex. 5:1)

"Sun, stand... still!"
-- Joshua (10:12)

"Yippie ki yay, melon farmer!"
-- John McClane
(TV version of "Die Hard")

and so...

David to Abiathar, who fled from the crazy, murderous King Saul:

“Abide thou with me, fear not: for he that seeketh my life seeketh thy life: but with me thou shalt be in safeguard.”
-- 1Samuel 22:23

“Come with me if you want to live.”
-- “The Terminator” (1984, written by James Cameron)

Now, some “West Wing”!

White House Press Secretary C.J. Cregg (Allison Janney) has received death threats, so CIA agent Simon Donovan (Mark Harmon) is assigned to protect her.

SIMON:
This guy isn't small-time, Ms. Cregg. You're being hunted. By the way, I can't guarantee anything except to say that if you're dead, chances are I am, too.

-- “The West Wing” (Season 3, ep.18, “Enemies Foreign and Domestic,” written by Paul Redfor and Aaron Sorkin)


Excerpt from “The Simpsons Bible Stories” episode:

[After Goliath’s son, Goliath 2, kills Methuseleh, David’s ‘oldest friend’]

DAVID:
Goliath 2 is gonna pay and this time… it’s biblical…
Get ready to meet the first action hero!

--(“The Simpsons,” 1999, season 10, ep. 18, written by Larry Doyle, Tim Long, Matt Selman)

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