Brother from... the same mother

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"And when her days to be delivered were fulfilled, behold, there were twins in her womb.... And the first... and they called his name Esau. 25:26 And after that came his brother... Jacob."

-- Genesis 24:24-26



As usual I was googling homosexuals on the web.

whoa, whoa, whoa...

like you don't?

Okay, as the husband of a rabbi-in-training, when I introduce myself to people I say, "I'm married to a future rabbi... I'm not gay... but I AM open to suggestion (wink)."
Because a lot people are traditional and do not know that women can be rabbis... and I can come off as being very FABULOUS!

I was speaking with a fellow husband of a female rabbi-to-be, and-- naturally-- we were discussing homosexuals.
We arrived on the King of Kings himself...

Liberace! Whose full name was... Wladziu Valentino Liberace.

Born in ... (wait for it)... Wisconsin!

Really.

But guess what-- Liberace had a stillborn twin brother!

And I remembered, so did Elvis! (whose middle name was Aaron, btw! Rep-a-zent!)

And who else had a stillborn twin?

I almost did.

I have an older brother named Jacob.

I have an identical twin brother named Esau.

No, no-- his name is Zack.

I was born first, 15 minutes before him. So I am technically older (not that it makes a difference-- I didn't do anything constructive with the time. I didn't boil some rice or finish a Sudoku).
But y'see, my brother was coming out backwards (out my mother's ass).
He was coming out feet first. So the doctors had to do a C-section on my mom, slicing her open like a Thanksgiving turkey (except there was no stuffing... just my brother... although the amniotic fluid WAS gravy... repulsed yet?).
Actually, the doctors saved his life, because the umbilical chord was wrapped around his neck (don't know how THAT happened-- wink).
Anyhoo, I very nearly DIDN'T have a twin brother.

And that would've... sucked.

Siblings are in your life for three major reasons:

to keep you humble ("Nobel Prize, Shmobel Prize. Remember the time you barfed on grandma?")

to bond/identify with someone about relatives ("Dad thinks the mailman is stealing the newspaper again")

and to have an all-purpose confidant.

To have someone help cover up your obvious marijuana-induced high-ness before your parents see you.
To have someone help hide pornography before your parents find it ("Son, what's this 'Donkey and Co-eds' magazine?")


To have someone help you through the tough times in life.
To tell you all women are she-devils when one breaks your heart.
To tell you when you can do better.
To tell you, "Indiana... Let it go, Indiana."

And to have someone who resents the fame of Mary-Kate and Ashley as much as you do.


"Seek always to do some good, somewhere. Every man has to seek in his own way to realize his true worth. You must give some time to your fellow man. For remember, you don't live in a world all your own. Your brothers are here too."
-- Albert Schweitzer
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