Bro's

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"A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity."
- Proverbs 17:17

Amen, Proverbs. Amen.

I remember the summer I turned 15.
My older brother and I were swimming in the ocean off the Jersey Shore (motto: “Now with less corpses than the Hudson”).
We were splashing around, having a gay ol’ time (it was fabulous), when suddenly my brother screamed.
Don’t panic.
It wasn’t a blood-curdling scream (if his blood were yogurt, it would still be fresh). But he was definitely in pain.
He quickly swam back to shore, and I followed.
He lay on the sand and that’s when I saw his left leg— was tinted pink with red pustules.
“Jellyfish,” he said, betwixt expletives.

He winced, I fretted and began helping him walk back home from the beach.
But he was in too much pain.
Something had to be done.
And so I snapped into action.

And some of you already know what’s coming.

We had heard rumors that uric acid neutralizes the stinging of jellyfish .
Well, rumors are good enough for me!
(as it turns out, that only works for stings from sea urchins... oh well)

We climbed a dune, stood behind a bush, and I did my brotherly duty (that’s d-u-t-y… I just went #1).
Why did I do it?
Because I love my brother.
And did it help?
It helped me… I really had to go.

But that’s what brother’s do for one another.
They laugh together.
They cry together.
And when the time comes,
they piss on each other.

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