“Food, Glorious Food!”—Oliver!

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My wonderful wife made an interesting argument today.
Still recovering from Passover, I shared my thoughts from my blog (“It could always be worse”)—
how abstaining from bread consumption reminds us, “At least we’re not slaves like we used to be!”

My wife corrected me… as she tends to do because she tends to be correct most of the time… (she also tends to read this blog).

“But if that’s the case, we’re simply reliving our slavery for the duration of the holiday. Passover and eating matzah becomes the slavery and not the celebration of our freedom.”

Good point.

They say religion should be a blessing, not a burden.

… Shyeah right.

And your ex meant it when s/he said, “It’s not you, it’s me.”

B.S.

But my wife put it in terms I could understand: Food.

“We are still slaves. Everyone is a slave to something.
And most of us are slaves to food/beverage some of the time.”

My wife is a proud member of Weight Watchers, and a success story (she’s married to me, after all). She lost nearly 30% of her body weight in high school and is smokin’ hot! She is the second hottest Yeshiva student I know (first, naturally, is Yentl).
So she knows a thing or two about food and its tight grip around our gastronomical short and curlies (great name for a Jewish restaurant, btw).

“Y’see,” my wife explains, “people often turn to food to satisfy an emotional need. Many of us eat this or that because it ‘makes us feel better.’ But that is dangerous.”

True—those of us who aren’t addicted to drugs, pills, booze… we’re still addicted to SOMETHING!
Chocolate, coffee, etc.

My name is Aaron… and I am addicted to Twizzlers. They’re awesome!
I’ve also eaten a whole Entenmann’s cake in one evening, by myself (no worries, my tears landed safely on my gut). (really, did I need to add “by myself?” Once you start a sentence with “I ate a whole cake…)


(and meth).

And to quote Star Trek’s Deanna Troi, explaining the concept of “dessert” to an alien:

“It's something we eat after the main course. It's usually very sweet, it's usually very bad for you... We eat it purely for pleasure. If you ask me, it's the best part of any meal.”

- (TNG, season 7, ep.2 -“Liaisons,” teleplay by Jeanne Carrigan Fauci & Lisa Rich)

Amen, nerds, Amen.


The mere CONCEPT of dessert—ridiculous!

After a full, satisfying meal, that’s what we need—cake!

“What Passover does,” my wife says, “Passover reminds us that we don’t have to be slaves to food!”
Zing!
Good point—I mean what are we ACTUALLY slaves to in this day and age?
Food has power over us (where’s that dessert cart? “I have no willpower”), food can make us do things we don’t want to do (like go through the dumpster), and can make us feel crappy (like any fast food).
Food is like the ultimate manipulative girlfriend: you spend a night ravaging that pie… next morning you look in the mirror—“What … did you… do?!”
The evidence is strewn about the kitchen.
“I sicken myself.”

Wife:
“So Passover reminds us that we can control what goes into our bodies. (behave)
We don’t NEED to eat bread. We’re not slaves to our stomachs.”

It’s a good point, yet another reason why I like the idea of keeping Kosher or being a vegetarian.
We are not animals.
We do more than eat, sleep and hump (although that sounds like the perfect evening).
We have the ability to think and consider what we consume and why.

Free your mind… and your stomach will follow.
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