Nude Noah / Drunk Dad

Noah celebrated the end of the flood the way most of us celebrate:

"And he drank of the wine and was drunk; and was uncovered within his tent."
(Gen. 9:21)

In other words,

"TOGA! TOGA! TOGA!"
-- Animal House

or

"We're going streaking!"
-- Old School

Then Noah's youngest son, Ham (pronounced "Khahm"), walks in on him and tells his 2 brothers about it. The 2 brothers enter the tent backwards and cover their soused poppa with a blanket "their faces were backward and they saw not their father's nakedness" (v.23). They didn't want to embarrass their dad, who was vulnerable... and butt nekkid.


About 15 years ago my family was at neighbor's house for a big Friday night dinner. After the meal, all the parents were upstairs talking, the kids were hanging out in the basement. I went upstairs to grab some dessert and I saw all the adults silently gathered around a friend's mom, who was gulping in air.
It turns out she had been choking on a piece of chicken and someone had just performed the Heimlich maneuver on her.

All I could think was...

"Wow! Cool!"

I rushed downstairs and told my friend, excited as a 14 year old girl meeting the cast of "Twilight"...

"Hey, David! Guess what! Your mom almost died just now!"

As all the kids packed the dining room to make sure David's mom was okay, my father pulled me aside.

"I am very disappointed in you."

Not the first time I'd heard that.
Certainly not the last.

But that stuck with me.

Instead of maintaining composure, I wanted to be the bearer of news.

My Dad was essentially quoting "Scrubs", which was quoting "Fat Albert":
"You're like school in July... no class."

---------------------------------------------
But my dad and I were all right.

In fact, we grew closer. He and my brothers came up with a code word. Y'see, in the summer times we would all wear shorts. And occasionally the shorts would be... a little too short. So whenever one of us was overexposed or "hanging brain", the others would whisper, "Dude... the toast is burning."
And then the culprit would know to re-adjust, to fix the feng shui of his family jewels.

And once in a while we'd have to let our elder statesman know, "Woah! The toast is ON FIRE! You've burned down the kitchen!!"

Sigh...

Just like with Noah!



“Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.”

-- Frank Sinatra