Late at Night.... The Oscars in Israel

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“And it came to pass at midnight, that the man was afraid, and turned himself: and, behold, a woman lay at his feet. And he said, Who art thou? And she answered, I am Ruth thine handmaid…”
-- Ruth 3:8-9

A lot of surprising stuff happens late at night.
Especially here in the Middle East.

Even on TV!


Let me start by saying—I did not watch the Academy Awards last night.

I tried, oh good Lord, how I tried.

I sent out e-mails, planned a little shindig, double-checked the Israeli TV listings, set up my slingbox-link via computer.
And viola!

Nuttin’.
It just wasn’t in the proverbial cards.

Israeli TV did not broadcast it, there was a strike with New York’s ABC affiliates, so my sling box hook-up was rendered useless (until close to 5 AM, when I had given up hope and returned to bed).
And no one showed up for the shindig… which is totally understandable and VERY fortuitous, as it turns out.

But at least I had the privilege of watching an hour of Israeli TV in the middle of the night, searching for the Oscar show.

Have you ever watched Israeli television at 3 AM?
Oh, if you haven’t-- it is a sight to behold!

It’s like the Aurora borealis and the Apollo 11 moon landing combined with a big, steaming pile of crap.
Mostly just the latter.

What’s on at 3 AM in Israel INSTEAD of the Oscars?

1) Black and white footage of Israelis with afros and jean jackets playing acoustic guitar.
2) Infomercial with a British dude selling a cuisinart that can make potatoes au gratin and cheesecake in less than two minutes!
3) A couple of chubby guys playing wii tennis
4) Mike Huckabee on Fox News
5) Aerosmith music video "Livin' on the edge" from 1993
6) A French made-for-TV movie where a kid pushes an old guy off a boat.... then waves at a blimp overhead ( this officially became my new “Favorite Oscar moment”)

7) And finally (I am not kidding)… Shamwow infomercials!!

And the last thing I learned before tossing in the Oscar-watching towel an hour later:

What do Israelis watch at 4 AM?

… Reruns of "Becker"

(sigh)
I felt patriotic, in weird kinda way.

I ended up reading an Oscar play-by-play this morning on IMDB.com.

Whenever stuff like this happens I must remind myself—
“Aaron, remember… this does not affect your life whatsoever.”
“The outcome of yesterday evening will not change your day-to-day existence.”

But I usually say that when my local sports team loses, not when the underdog wins!

Last night, “The Hurt Locker” won Best Picture at the 2010 Academy Awards.
Which means “Avatar” did not!
See how that works.
And “The Hurt Locker” won 6 statues.
“Avatar” – only 3.

It’s kinda ironic, since “The Hurt Locker” was picking up speed the last month, or as movie folks are fond of saying, “gaining momentum”-- getting more positive attention and steadily becoming "the favorite."
I was not aware, since I am in Israel, where news and peace talks both crawl at an interminably slow pace-- like hummus sliding off a table top.

So maybe “The Hurt Locker” wasn’t the underdog after all… which deflates my previous entry (… still worth a read, though!).
(desperation is a stinky cologne).


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