Turkish Delight

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"... I have been a stranger in a strange land"

-- Exodus 2:22

I went to Turkey a couple weeks ago, spending the majority of Hanukkah (The Jewish Festival of Lights)in Istanbul.


I learned some Turkish phrases--

First of all, the phrase for
"thank you very much"
sounds a lot like
"where is the toilet?"

They are, respectively--

tush-a-core neradeem

and

too-va-let nereday


Now YOU are Turkısh, too!

I often confused and combined them. So I left many-a restaurant, waiving and smiling, thanking the waiters by shouting, "Where is the toilet?!"
Or sometimes, if I REALLY enjoyed the food, I'd say, "Toilet very much."

Everyone in Turkey thought I was a very grateful man with bladder control issues... and a learning disability.

Which is not far from the truth.

And EVERYONE there sells rugs... no really. EVERYONE!

One salesman spoke to the wife and me for a while. He had this wisdom to impart--

"Hope is breakfast for poor people. We must have hope, we must have try... if not... then you never climb the tree."

(Amen, you said it, brother)

"Carpet is beauty... Why? Because person is beauty. No more Picasso-- forget Picasso, human person is beauty, heart is beauty. If you see in heart-- all colors. İf you see with eyes-- is black and white.**


I think it is pretty obvious how philosophical this trip has been for me.


Besides that... its just like America!

Of course, I told everyone I was Canadian, and they were nice to me.

I went to a Turkish bath... boy, Turkish men sure are friendly.... REALLY friendly...
I was too tense to enjoy it. Visions of "Shawshank Redemption" haunted me the whole time.

And we saw the whirling dervishes... Lame! Four guys, each wearing a fez hat and a robe, spinning around! For forty-five minutes!
AND we weren't allowed to use flash photography or clap because it was actually a religious ceremony.
Ha!
Ridiculous!
What a stupid religion... now if you will excuse me I must light some candles and eat potato pancakes and spin a droodle.... to remember... oil... or something.


“Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.”
-- Dave Barry

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