What's My Motivation?

Why?
why is the question?
why, after 8 years of jewish elementary school education
and 6 years of middle and high school pluralistic jewish education
and four years at the Jewish Theological Seminary
and four more years of teaching at three separate Hebrew Schools in Brooklyn and Manhattan

why, after all this norishkeit, have i decided to read the Bible?
The entire Bible?
(And nothing but the Bible, so help me... God?)

Because I've never read it, cover to cover. And what better time and place, than in Jerusalem, when I have plenty of free time?
Besides, my whole life I've sat at the back of the classroom and mocked various psukim (verses), now let's take a deeper look (like the OBGYN said) and really explore this book, while still having a good time.

Also, why in God's name am I reading the KING JAMES version of the bible???
If you're my wife, you're a little disappointed.
If you're my parents, you're very disappointed... but that has more to do with the previous 27 years than anything else.

Also, if you're my wife, you've seen me naked. And for that, my apologies.

I think I made my case in the opening sentences. I have been entrenched, ensconced and mired in Jewish education all my life. If I sound a little suffocated... well, religion can be suffocating. I know, I know, treat religion as a blessing, not a burden.
and treat women as people, not as hookers. Easier said than done.
Remember what Jasmine said, "I'm not a prize to be won."
Well, that department is taken care of-- I got married 4 and a half months ago.
I am 27. The missus is 24.
We met as undergrads in college (more on that later).
Oh, and another thing...
My wife is going to be a rabbi.

Say, what????
Aaron, I hear you rhetorically asking, Have you been drinking?

Ha ha, oh reader-- of course I have. But it's true. My wife is studying to be a rabbi-- which is why she is in Jerusalem right now, at a modern Yeshiva.
Which is also why I am in Jerusalem, too.
So here's the skinny:
8 plus 6 plus 4-- 18 years of Jew learnin', plus 4 years of kiddie Jew teachin', plus married to a future lady rabbi, plus livin' in Jerusalem, plus immature and can't take anything seriously especially religion, and dabbles in sketch and stand-up comedy and a one-man show,
with a history of religiously-based Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, who is now more content to watch DVDs of THe West Wing and The Simpsons on Saturday morning than to go to synagogue.
Oh, and I curse.

So, in the following pages, you will read MY interpretation of the Bible-- King James version, or "Old" and "New" "Testaments..."

It also chronicles my stay in the holy land, Israel,
but really, all I want for my wife and I, much like Kevin Costner and Morgan Freeman at the beginning of Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves, is to survive Jerusalem and remain best friends... also, I'd like to kill Alan Rickman.

Peace!!