Hoosiers! Hoosiers! Hoosiers!

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"... Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the LORD thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest."
-- Joshua 1:9


I was just watching one of the greatest sports movies of all-time, "Hoosiers," starring Gene Hackman and Dennis Hopper (the writers and visitors of the website ESPN.com rank it #1 on their respective sports films lists).

It's your typical Cinderella Story, as we follow the tiny high school basketball team from the tiny town in Indiana, as they make their to the state championship.

Before the first game of the season, as the team gathers in the locker room, the town's priest says the following:

" 'Be strong and of good courage for the lord is with thee and whither soever thou goest.' Lord, bless these boys and the season before them. Amen."

Okay, we've all seen this before, either in a film or in real life-- praying for a sports team. I've been guilty of it, too. And I use the word "guilty" on purpose! I really believe that praying to win a sporting contest is, as the French say, horse shit!
Wasting God's time with a silly little game??? And YES, compared to real problems in the world (Disease, Starvation, War, etc.,), Sports... are... silly.

That being said-- dear God, strike down the New York Yankees with a plague of some kind! Boils! Rickets! Swimmer's ear! Whatever you got!

(ahem)

Now, wait a sec-- a few entries earlier I mentioned that people in mourning recite the Mourner's Kaddish to help them through the grieveing process. And especially if you're agnostic/atheist, you can agree that the prayer is for the benefit of the person reciting it, rather than the deity to whom it's directed. In THAT case... I understand the prayer in the locker room. If people think God is on their side, then it might help motivate them to succeed, play harder.

(Or maybe it would make them less competitive, it could turn them complacent-- "Oh, God will help us win it, relax, no need to play hard" ... Of course that is a danger with prayer of any sort-- "Why bother trying to find a cure for cancer? I already PRAYED for one! Let's go grab a beer! Also, some cookies!")

And doesn't that instill a messed up value system in people's minds? Especially impressionable kids, playing junior/high school sports?

So the kid is praying that his team wins the game and that his grandpa's hip gets better before the gangrene sets in... both are worthy of God's time and attention. Right?


"Athletes-- let me tell you, Jesus doesn't care who wins the game, so stop thanking him. I never hear anybody BLAME Jesus when they lose.
'F**kin' Jesus! I had the ball, right there... and I dropped it-- Oh that Jesus! The other team out-prayed us at half-time! That's what happened. You gotta pray harder than the other guy in this league!' "

-- Bill Maher, in his 2004 HBO stand-up special “Be More Cynical”


And before his son squares off against Ned Flanders' son in a one-on-one mini-golf contest, the great Homer Simpson says the following:

[Sees Ned and his family praying]
"Hey Flanders, it's no use praying. I already did the same thing, and
we can't *both* win."

-- Homer, ``Dead Putting Society''
Written by Jeff Martin (season 2, episode 6)

Of course Ned Flanders corrects Homer's assumptions, telling him that they were simply praying "that no one got hurt."

A-ha! I remember doing this myself, in 6th grade, before playing recess football... "Dear God, let everyone be safe and not injured." Yup. So I'm as cool as Ned Flanders! ... oh dear God, help me!


And finally, some words of wisdom from the great Jimmy Dugan (a.k.a., Tom Hanks):

"Uh, Lord, hallowed be Thy name. May our feet be swift; may our bats be mighty; may our balls... be plentiful.
And Lord... I'd just like to thank You for that waitress in South Bend. You know who she is - she kept calling Your name. And God... these are good girls, and they work hard. Just help them see it all the way through. Okay, that's it."

-- "A League of Their Own", screenplay by Lowell Ganz and Babaloo Mandel


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