"Snakes! Why'd it have to be Snakes?" -- Rabbi Indiana ben Jones

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Oh, Bible, you come up with the most reasonable explanations for obvious things!

Adam and Eve, snake, apple, etc.

As punishment, God tells the snake (Gen. 3:15):

"I will put enmity between you and and the woman, between your seed and her seed, it shall bruise thy head, and thou shalt bruise his heel."

A-ha! So THIS is the reason why people and snakes aren't best buddies!
If not for the unpleasant apple incident, we'd have domesticated the snake years ago, we'd be picking up their snake shit in ziploc bags, put little suctions on car windows- "Boa on Board"...
Westminster Snake Show, you get the idea...

The bible I'm reading explains that this is a metaphor-- man will triumph over Satan, linking this to Romans 16:20-- "And God shall bruise Satan under your feet shortly."
Really? The embodiment of pure evil and wickedness in the universe and the best we can do is-- "I'm gonna squash him with my foot!"
I shall destroy the Prince of Darkness 'neath my Nike cross-trainer!

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