Watch out-- here come the Jews!

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Exodus begins with a new Pharaoh in Egypt (FYI, "pharaoh" is one of the oldest words in recorded history, meaning "big house"), and this Pharaoh didn't know about Jacob, Joseph and their Hebrew brethren who were so cool (and good with numbers and frugal)!

So Pharaoh says "Behold, the people of the children of Israel are more and mightier than we" (1:9), marking the last time in recorded history the Jews were ever described with those two adjectives.

And so Pharaoh, wanting to keep them weak and few in number, enslaved them ("set taskmasters over them" (v.11)

But the Israelites would have none of that...

"But the more they afflicted them, the more they multiplied and grew" (v.12).

That's right! The Israelites were having spite sex!

"Honey, I'm not in the mood!"
"Come on, Shirley, you want us Israelites to die out?
"No way, I won't give Pharaoh the satisfaction."
"Good... now speaking of satisfaction..."


And so Moses' mom, Yocheved, or in the King James-- Jochebed or Sofabed or Futon) put him in a basket and sent him down the Nile. It's like Moses' mom was a pregnant teen on prom night!



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