Monday, November 30

"Please, no fatties"

.

Abraham sends his trusty servant Eliezer to Canaan to find a wife for Isaac, Abe's son
(remember, the son he nearly stabbed to death in Gen.22... well, now we're in chapter 24, and Izzy needs a woman!).

Eliezer decides he'll go to the local watering hole (literally... a watering hole, where people would let their cattle drink water), and whichever lady offers him a drink, and also offers his camels a drink, THAT is the lady for Isaac! (Gen. 24:14).


Once at the watering hole with his camels, he notices Rebekah:
"And the damsel was very fair to look up, a virgin, no man had known her" (v.16).

Damn!


Sounds good!



But Eliezer the Servant had different criteria that had to be met-- and being a sexy virgin was not part of the deal... oh, Eliezer… what a moron!

But wait! What happens next?!

Rebekah, the smokin' hot virgin, puts down her pitcher of water and says to Eliezer, "Drink, my lord... I will draw water for thy camels also, until they are done drinking" (v.18-19).


All right! A hot virgin who’s nice to animals!

Ding ding ding! We have a winner!

Why? What does this say about Rebekah’s character?

Well, it says everything.

And it reminds me of an exchange from “A Bronx Tale”, written by its star, Chazz Palmintieri. Chazz playes a “Sonny,” mob boss. Here he gives dating advice to his teenaged protégé, nicknamed “C,” :

Sonny:
Alright, listen to me. You pull up right where she lives, right? Before you get outta the car, you lock both doors. Then, get outta the car, you walk over to her. You bring her over to the car. Dig out the key, put it in the lock and open the door for her. Then you let her get in. Then you close the door. Then you walk around the back of the car and look through the rear window. If she doesn't reach over and lift up that button so that you can get in: dump her.

’C’:
Just like that?

Sonny:
Listen to me, kid. If she doesn't reach over and lift up that button so that you can get in, that means she's a selfish broad and all you're seeing is the tip of the iceberg. You dump her and you dump her fast.

Well said, Italian New Yorker mob boss!
You clearly know your Scriptures.

Wouldn't you know it! Just like Eliezer said!
Sometimes you can learn everything about a person by the smallest, simplest act of thoughtfulness…
or selfishness.

Like in the 1998 Adam Sandler vehicle “The Wedding Singer,” written by Tim Herlihy.

Early in the film, Julia (Drew Barrymore) says she always wanted to see Las Vegas from an airplane, the famous strip of casinos and hotels all lit up at night. Then, when she hops a plane and elopes with her douche fiancé, he won’t let her have the window seat! And that says it all!
He’s a douche!

And Rebekah was selfless and kind.

… and smokin’ hot!


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